I'll always love her

I don’t do stop and start love. Have never, will never. If I’ve ever loved someone, and there was a separation, or a breach of relationship, I still love them, and yet there may be an inability to connect, trust, communicate, or whatever.

I keep seeing people hating their exes. Maybe I’m lucky. Maybe I’ve escaped the levels of harm that most people have additionally, such as custody battles and divorce court fights, and that’s why I’m not so averse to keeping love in my wheelhouse.

But regardless, I will always love my ex, and I will always love my kids, even though they choose hate, contempt and separation.

This week, there was a video that came across Tiktok, and when this guy spoke, I was checking off mental boxes of agreement with his assessment of negative and abusive behaviors that had occurred in my family. Yep, that happened, and so forth.

But even though those things happened, and I may not be at a point of reconciliation with the perpetrators of those things, I still love them.

Maybe I’m a sucker for feeling this way. And, maybe, love has had horrible investment returns, for most all of my life. But I’m going to keep loving, and currently, I’m just learning how to love my solitude.

I’m learning how to love decluttering my surroundings, so that I feel more at ease. I’m working on cleaning my environment, so that I can breathe a breath of fresh air that is non-toxic on an emotional level.

I made choices 19 years ago, concerning agreements and obligations, that I am thankful for today.