PTSD DAD - a poem

I can’t say how sorry I am

I didn’t mean to be this way Just living’s been a struggle Each and every day.

From the first time that I saw your face

Till I draw my final breath

The love I have for you, my child

Is met with one regret

Please forgive me I gave it all I had

I tried to hold you close

Every time it turned out bad

I couldn’t set my mind free

My pain pushed you away from me

and deep inside every day I’m sad

You deserved more than a PTSD dad.

I tried to get the help I could

and you told me it’s too late

and when I wanted to connect

it seemed I always drew a blank

With self-doubt as my anchor

I never did set sail

Success always came knocking

on my locked door in hell

Please forgive me I gave it all I had

I tried to hold you close

Every time it turned out bad

I couldn’t set my mind free

My pain pushed you away from me

and deep inside every day I’m sad

You deserved more than a PTSD dad.

I’d love to have my family

To hold them and be held

To cry with them and laugh with them

Redeem life from this hell.

Please forgive me I gave it all I had

I tried to hold you close

Every time it turned out bad

I couldn’t set my mind free

My pain pushed you away from me

and deep inside every day I’m sad

You deserved more than a PTSD dad.

~ By Jay V. Shore 9-21-21