The hardest decision. Letting an avoidant go be themselves, along with their drama.
This week, I thought my ex and I were going to hook back up, and we had a couple days of communication about emotion, and then, then, THEN, the facts hit home.
She may not be a covert narcissist, but at the very least she is a fearful avoidant.
Her favorite phrases:
“No one is condemned”…. See, if no one is condemned, she is also not responsible for any harm that she causes.
“I don’t need to feel condemned.” This is a red flag barrier to her standing accountable for her actions.
This week has been a whirlwind of re-visitation to the fact that she just cannot admit that she can do wrong, or that her actions can harm someone.
Other people, in her eyes, can need change, but not her.
Other people, in her eyes, can do wrong, but not her.
Other people should be responsible for their actions, but not her.
As much as I love this woman, I’m thankful that I see to run like hell from a reunification with this unresolved trauma.
P.D., Jay V. Shore