In 2018, I attended a DV/SV Survivor Rights Advocacy certification course at National Crime Victim Law Institute (NCVLI) in Portland Oregon. Meg Garvin and her crew presented how women were victims of domestic and sexual violence, and there was a very minimal ham-handed mention that it “could” happen to men, but it was rare. I was incensed.
This group of women at NCVLI had no answers and could not remediate why the Duluth Power and Control wheel was sexist and misandrist. It’s pissed me off for years, and since it’s inception, it has painted men as the perpetrators and women as the victims, without any wiggle room for balance. AT ALL.
I filed a complaint, and even a Title IX complaint with Lewis and Clark law school (NCVLI’s associated accredited entity), and nothing was done.
I wrote The Duluth Model people and nothing was done. So, today, all these years later, seeing how this misandrist construct has so NEGATIVELY impacted men, keeping them in silence, gaslighting them, acting as if they don’t exist, today, I’m fixing this shit under FAIR USE and criticism of TWO sexist, bigoted, and misandrist organizations - NCVLI and TheDuluthModel.org
About Women.
I help women and men fight battles and what I’m noticing over the last almost 6 years, is that men have GUILT associated with saying “I’ve been abused.” There is a deep shame attached to the experiences of men in domestic abuse and even sexual abuse, and this article is NOT going to be filled with my attempts to make sure women know I’m not against them. If I haven’t proven this, well, fuck off.
This is my article to say that MEN need to have a voice, and even though I now identify as a toxic masculine lesbian beige woman of color, I SUPPORT MEN HAVING A VOICE.
THE NOXIOUS STENCH OF THEDULUTHMODEL.ORG
Today I went to TheDuluthModel.org site, to get a copy of the wheel to modify it to be non-misandrist. Here’s how that went.
At first, I wanted to use and adapt “their” wheel. That quickly changed, however, when I saw this after clicking “Next” above.
They don’t even want it gender neutral. They want it specifically mentioning over 30 times that women (only) are victims. Then they have the gall to say “We don’t see women battering male partners at anywhere near the rate that men do toward women.”
Well, when you tell men they can’t have a voice, you won’t hear their complaints. It’s no wonder “you don’t see” what you demand to be erased. If there ever was a contrived case of confirmation bias, this statement by TheDuluthModel.org is it.
And today, I exercise my free speech rights to operate under fair use and criticize open misandrist bigoted hatred towards men. The Power and Control wheel is just one side of the coin. And it’s old, tarnished, and worthless without the balance of the other side of the coin. So, I fixed it. Understand this is NOT a Power and Control wheel. No, no, no. This is a NON-MISANDRIST Power and Control Wheel. Feel free to use this to show that #MenToo are victims of domestic, sexual, and physical violence.
To TheDuluthModel.org … My middle finger is firmly extended to your hate.
P.D., JAY V SHORE.
What seems equally as important to 1) identifying these injustices done by individuals and organizations (as you have done), is also 2) documenting them as continued evidence against them (as you have also done). Excellent.
What's needed is a crowd-based system of contributing ongoing evidence to a single, yet decentralized, network for each entity. Then all the evidence would be forever bound in time to their own comments, etc. Of course organizations can change stances, get new mgmt, etc. But at least they could never lie and say: "We never said that!"
Forgiving is an choice. Forgetting should not be for commercial organizations, public offices, etc.
I really like that there are many professionals finally coming around to the imbalance in male support systems available, and offering more services. I've been watching this lady's videos lately specifically about how toxic women manipulate and destroy men. Not sure if it's ok to post here, but it's been spot-on so far from what I've experienced in my life from impossible relationship dynamics:
https://www.youtube.com/@LiseLeblanc/videos