Let me get out of the way that I feel like a dumbass. Why didn’t I see this earlier? Why didn’t I speak up and/or demand to have my voice? (I did a few times, and it ended with screaming on all sides.) These questions circle my mind like a vulture at 500 feet.
And lest we not become too narcissistic from the trauma either (as a protective mechanism, like many narcissists use to protect themselves after their own dark traumas long ago). Fortunately, if we still have empathy, then that's a good sign. Narcissists had theirs shut off long ago, by others, or themselves. (Different from sociopaths and psychopaths who just don't seem to have it at all).
I know this is a huge trauma. But I bet you the kids will come back around eventually. After all you are still their father and you only get one of those. The woman on the other hand sounds like a lost cause. This is not your fault please do not blame yourself. Now you got other work to do and now you have no more distractions from that. Mourn and move on cause that’s what’s required. Nothing has destroyed you yet though many have tried, this won’t destroy you either. I know you, youre gonna make it through this
Hot off the presses, excellent video by Lise Leblanc to help with comprehension, and CLOSURE:
"7 Reasons Why Narcissists Won't Change"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE_K16_aERc
And lest we not become too narcissistic from the trauma either (as a protective mechanism, like many narcissists use to protect themselves after their own dark traumas long ago). Fortunately, if we still have empathy, then that's a good sign. Narcissists had theirs shut off long ago, by others, or themselves. (Different from sociopaths and psychopaths who just don't seem to have it at all).
I know this is a huge trauma. But I bet you the kids will come back around eventually. After all you are still their father and you only get one of those. The woman on the other hand sounds like a lost cause. This is not your fault please do not blame yourself. Now you got other work to do and now you have no more distractions from that. Mourn and move on cause that’s what’s required. Nothing has destroyed you yet though many have tried, this won’t destroy you either. I know you, youre gonna make it through this
Here's the best chart summary I've seen yet of how the split occurs and the subsequent categories:
https://www.mindfreed.org/_files/ugd/89428f_0eb3c765c7f7494bbc8e03d09a624b4f.pdf
It's found on this page for trauma recovery resources:
https://www.mindfreed.org/resources
If you don't mind me asking, how old are your children now?