After 31 years together, it is a bit of a mind-shift to separate and divorce. All of the standard feels are there, but the driving force, the center line of reason, is that: IF I am expected to continue to provide for those that hate me, I can do better than that. And if they have an expectation of my performance, without mutual reward, well, they can do that “over there” somewhere…
The raw truth is the bravest and loudest words on earth, even if they are thought or barely whispered. When they fall on the ears and eyes of others whose heart they reach, they are like grenade that the pin has been removed. Whether you meant to or not, you are writing the truth of many and they are watching to see what to do next. Truth matters, even when it hurts.
Obviously nobody is a 100% perfect angel/victim and all the others are the 100% evil villains. But you can work on your own issues on your own, without the complications and chaos of these toxic dynamics you have been immersed in. Life with less negativity is immeasurably easier.
Just make sure that if you stop contact, that you stay stopped. NO neediness, NO crawling back, NO begging for "forgiveness", NO weird hours texts "I miss you...", NONE of that crap. Move on. It's your life, your freedom, your increasing value, your increasing health, your increasing power, your increasing clarity, your increasing purpose, your increasing self-appreciation, your increasing self-love. She had plenty of chances. DONE. If you cave, then she knows you were huffing, puffing and bluffing. The respect would be even lower thereafter. No way.
Your kids are a different story, depending on legally-recognized ages, of course. If they they want a weak woke tranny blue-haired dad, then that's on them to go find in the endless sea of idiots sloshing around us. If they want a strong real dad who sets the example on how to take care of himself, in spite of anyone dragging him down, then there you will be. On your terms.
The raw truth is the bravest and loudest words on earth, even if they are thought or barely whispered. When they fall on the ears and eyes of others whose heart they reach, they are like grenade that the pin has been removed. Whether you meant to or not, you are writing the truth of many and they are watching to see what to do next. Truth matters, even when it hurts.
Be well my friend. You have helped me yet again.
Obviously nobody is a 100% perfect angel/victim and all the others are the 100% evil villains. But you can work on your own issues on your own, without the complications and chaos of these toxic dynamics you have been immersed in. Life with less negativity is immeasurably easier.
Just make sure that if you stop contact, that you stay stopped. NO neediness, NO crawling back, NO begging for "forgiveness", NO weird hours texts "I miss you...", NONE of that crap. Move on. It's your life, your freedom, your increasing value, your increasing health, your increasing power, your increasing clarity, your increasing purpose, your increasing self-appreciation, your increasing self-love. She had plenty of chances. DONE. If you cave, then she knows you were huffing, puffing and bluffing. The respect would be even lower thereafter. No way.
Your kids are a different story, depending on legally-recognized ages, of course. If they they want a weak woke tranny blue-haired dad, then that's on them to go find in the endless sea of idiots sloshing around us. If they want a strong real dad who sets the example on how to take care of himself, in spite of anyone dragging him down, then there you will be. On your terms.